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The Trinity

The TRUE story of Jesus.

In the beginning Charles Manson (God) created the heavens and the earth. The heavens consisted of the Murder City Devils currently being a touring band and Angelina Jolie always being naked. Later on, a child named Jesse Camp (Jesus) was born unto the virgin Hardcorbin (Mary) and her boyfriend Big John Sexy (Joseph). That very night 3 Shepherds by the names of Jennifer Tilly, Brody Dalle and Angelina Jolie came baring gifts such as: Tropical Rain incense, 3 lbs of refer and a gravity bong. Luckily Kurt Cobain (The angel) was there to watch over everyone to make sure everything went smoothely, as it did and Brandon Lee (Jesus' brother) was the happiest boy in the world, now that he had a baby brother. A now to celebrate this glorious incident we meet on Fridays and read Helter Skelter (the bible) and worship Marilyn Manson (Holy Spirit), Charles Manson (God) and the lovely Jesse Camp (baby jesus) by listening to the Blood Brothers praises. It's very nice.
 
Important Details:
 
Jesus: Jesse Camp
God: Charles Manson... duh
Holy Spirit: Marilyn Manson
Mary: Hardcorbin
Joseph: Big John Sexy
Jesus' brother: Brandon Lee
The Angel: Kurt Cobain
The Shepherds: Angelina Jolie, Jennifer Tilly and Brody Dalle
The Bible: Helter Skelter

jesse.jpg

Jesse Camp
 
 
Full Name: Josiah Lee Camp
Birthday: November 4
Sign: Scorpio
Height: 6'4
Marital Status: Married to the Merch Girls.
 
Biography
 

Jesse Camp became an overnight star when in 1998 he won MTV's first "Wanna Be a VJ" contest, parlaying his popularity with the music video network's viewers into a record deal. Born November 4, 1979 in Granby, Connecticut, after graduating high school he relocated to Manhattan, playing drums in an East Village band named Easy Action; less than five months after his arrival in New York, Camp beat out 4000 other contestants in MTV's nationwide search for a new on-air personality, immediately rocketing to fame. A gaunt, flamboyant character with electric-shock hair and a voice suggesting Elmer Fudd on dope, Camp was the object of as much disdain as affection, however -- while supposedly homeless prior to landing his VJ gig, many pointed to his suburban upbringing as proof of his affluent background, and even his MTV victory was the subject of controversy after it was later reported in the Village Voice that one viewer voted for him some 3000 times. In any case, Camp grew so popular with audiences that he ulitmately signed a contract with Hollywood Records, the biggest ever awarded to a fledgling act in label history; assembling the 8th Street Kidz, a group comprised of onetime members of Vixen, LSD and Dogs D'amour, he issued his debut LP in mid-1999. ~ Jason Ankeny, All Music Guide

 

Thank you Jesus!

"Keep It Trashy™"